6 Signs To Spot A Sexual Abuser
“Don’t talk to strangers,” our mothers often warn us with an expression that swears us off unknown people for life. However, what we are not told is that we need to be equally wary of people we do know. And that’s because it is a very common myth that only strangers are the perpetrators of sexual abuse. BUT the truth is that in most cases the victim/child knows the abuser. The very fact that most abusers are trusted individuals often results in their actions going undetected.
So how do we spot an abuser?
The bad news is that abusers are not easy to spot. There is no typical abuser. They interact in a very friendly manner in front of others and abuse their victims behind the closed doors only.
BUT the good news is that they do have certain attributes which may indicate us about his/her evil intentions.
So today we are going to tell you about the most common attributes of an abuser:
Abusers prey on the naivety of their victims
Abusers often prey on children because they are naive and trusting. Similarly teens are also particularly at risk because they are likely to engage in communications revolving around intimate relationships. It is important to note that abusers always take advantage of their victim’s innocent. Instead of using physical force, they use the basis of their relationships to keep their actions a secret.
Giving gifts for NO reason
Gifts are great but getting gifts for little things or no reason can be manipulative! Abusers often strategize ways to become closer to children or teens. In order to develop their trust, they may bring gifts and presents and make them feel appreciated. This lays the ground for the abuser to begin a manipulative relationship of give and take with the victim.
Becoming closer to the family of the child
Some abusers try to become closer to the family of the child so that they may eventually be left alone with the child. They may visit their place with no obvious reason and spend long hours unnecessarily in order to gain their trust.
Abusers slowly cross their boundaries
Once the abuser establishes the access to his/her victim, they slowly cross their boundaries, sometimes with accidental touch, sexual jokes or by kissing and hugging the child repeatedly. In some cases, children become more comfortable with the abuser and desensitized to his/her touches and comments. The abuser can then increase the intimacy of his/her acts if there is continued interaction with the child in private spaces.
Threaten their victims to hurt them or their family
Some abusers take different strategies to make sure that children do not tell someone what is happening to them. They use outright aggression and threaten to hurt the child or their family. This frightens children into keeping the abuse a secret.
Abusers make their victims feel guilty
Often abusers manipulate children by making them feel ashamed and guilty. They usually blame their victims and make them feel that it’s their fault and that they are responsible for such situations.
After reading this blog, if you feel that you or your friend is experiencing one of the situations mentioned above, then you need to inform your parents or any trusted caregiver right away. Tell them what exactly is happening with you or your friend so that they can support you in getting out of this situation.